Infusing Courage.

Tea

Journal Entry | April 24, 2012:

“I keep trying to put myself in my mom’s place and I just can’t imagine accepting a shortened life, not with two babies and a husband. I wonder when this really was settled between her and the Lord? I know it was earlier than later–not that she didn’t have hard days–but she had such an attitude of hope and peace, despite her concerns. Can’t only the Lord give this kind of peace? It’s an incredible thing to watch, this kind of change, and I saw it overtake her before my eyes, like a teabag steeping in hot water.  It was the most beautiful thing I’ve seen: God’s hand gently, warmly transforming a soul in the depths of the rockiest, coldest place.”

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Sometimes we go through a season where we see everything through tears. I’m glad I’ve had time to reflect, and can understand some things I couldn’t last winter. Reading this entry now, I remember exactly how I was feeling then… honestly, I was a little scared about being diagnosed with something myself, and worrying about my family and a million other things I had no control over. I’ve had to work through these fears this year, and probably always in a way, but I’m comforted to know that God will help me through anything. I’ve seen it, I’ve thought about it a lot, and I keep coming back to this conclusion, and I’m grateful. In this way time heals, and even though it feels so slow sometimes, we just have to wade through it and wait for new perspectives.

We don’t go through life so that we can keep these things to ourselves–we need to share them and encourage one another, infuse one another with courage, to keep living in faith (Romans 1:11-12). I hope that when seasons like this come, you seek the One who loves you and wants to give you peace and rest (Matthew 11:28-29); He’s the only one who can truly hold your weariness; let Him! Hope seen through blurry eyes can be the best kind of hope.

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6 thoughts on “Infusing Courage.

  1. Mindy – I was so happy to read this today. February 13th marks 8 years since I lost my father and this was such an inspirational thing to read on the anniversary. Funny how this year has been much harder then years past.

    It does get easier. God Bless

    Amy (Emma’s Mommy)

  2. Working as a cancer nurse I am forced to think about mortality all too frequently. Your journal entry really resonates with me because when I think about my own death I get so scared…but then I know how God can work a miracle in my heart and I know he will give me strength when that time comes.

    • Yeah–it’s a mysterious thing to be sure. And that strength didn’t happen quickly, not with my mom… it grew over 5 years, but I could see it as a whole after reflecting back on that time. Really fascinating. And I think little ones increase these fears because we’re so responsible for them! I think we’ll feel that way no matter how old they are. It’s something I pray the Lord gives me peace about, it can just creep up unannounced!

  3. I’ll always thank God for the divine appointment that He made on that plane to Portland! You encourage me all the time. I’ve lost my dad 3yrs ago from a sickness as well and only God helped me get through the pain.

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